This was one of those mornings where I realize why I really
love morning. It is because no matter
what happened yesterday, it is over and done. Today is a brand-new day. A brand new day full of opportunities to do
things new, better, right, whatever.
What a great opportunity! I have
been training myself to wake up with words of praise on my mind. I have my alarms set to Alvin Slaughter,
Mandisa and Israel Houghton (yes I need 3 alarms or so to get myself fully
awake and ready for the day LOL!). On this
glorious new morning I am sitting at my desk looking at sunshine, listening to
Charles Stanley’s daily radio message and feeling totally psyched as I prepare
my task list for the day.
Today --I believe I see the light at the end of the tunnel
and feel assured that it is not an oncoming train. Yesterday, I appeared in court in pro per for
the first time. I was a little anxious
but continuing to pay for representation on a case that was not moving simply
not only made no sense it would have been outright foolish. So I prepared myself and showed up to prevent
the injustice that a bifurcation would have rendered in my life. The motion was dismissed. Thank you Jesus! Perhaps now we can move forward with real
resolution.
The level of animosity emanating from my long estranged
spouse has still not dissipated to something that allows successful resolution
of our divorce. I have no answers as to
why, but I am at truly peace that it is not my concern. Last night I realized that the appearance had
left me emotionally exhausted and feeling ganged up on by my spouse, his
mistress (she was present in court) and his attorney. For some
reason, the only solution they seem to be able to comprehend is one in which I
make all the sacrifices or sustain the majority of the economic loss. And that
somehow ‘beating me’= winning. I
continue to say this is not a fight and there are no winners. It is a business transaction about debts and
assets. Nothing more - especially after 6 years.
I don’t fault attorneys - they seemed to be geared mostly to
‘fight’and 'win'. I prefer mediation
which is more focused on problem-solving without leaving either party feeling beaten
or brutalized. It is a much healthier
option. I am hopeful that after
yesterday we will be able to return to mediation and finally wrap this up.
